President of the Hair Club for Men?

Donald Trump is no stranger to jokes.


In 2011, Trump volunteered to be roasted on Comedy Central. He's taken his fair share of shots at White House correspondents dinners. But there's no doubt that when it comes to jokes and insults, the billionaire businessman can give as good as he gets.


In that spirit, here are 18 of 120 of the best Donald Trump jokes and insults out there. (*Profanity is retained in the interest of comedy.)


1. “It’s like an Internet comment troll ran for president.”—Jon Stewart

2. “The good news is, President Obama was born in America. The bad news is, so was Donald Trump.” —Jay Leno

3. “Donald Trump is the kind of person who goes to the Super Bowl and thinks the people in the huddle are talking about him."―Eric Schneiderman

4. “Donald Trump announces this morning that he will run for president. His hair will announce on Friday.”—Albert Brooks


5. “'Yeah! OK! That sounds good!' So now the obvious question is, will he ever not win? Yes, Trump is unstoppable. He's like Godzilla with less foreign policy experience." –Stephen Colbert

6. “Donald has attacked every person of color – except John Boehner.”—Joe Biden

7. “Donald Trump has come out in favor of shutting down Planned Parenthood. However, experts say, if he really wants Planned Parenthood to go under he should turn it into a Trump property.”–Conan O"Brien

8. “Donald Trump may be running for president. He said he's sick and tired of the rest of the world laughing at the United States. Well, President Trump will certainly put an end to that!”―David Letterman

9. “Maybe he should ease into this ... by running for a lower office first, like President of the Hair Club for Men.”―Jimmy Kimmel

10. “Donald Trump is the weak man's vision of a strong man.”—Charles Cooke

11. “This guy has an ego. When Trump bangs a supermodel, he closes his eyes and imagines he's jerking off.”–Seth McFarlane

12. “Here's the thing about Donald Trump: he never apologizes; he's never wrong no matter what crazy thing he says. He's the white Kanye.”―Bill Maher

13. “He was even forced into the ultimate act of degradation— starring in his own reality show. And soon the top-rated TV show in the nation starred a total asshole torturing people who were stupid enough to work with him.”–Seth McFarlane

14. “But folks, on a serious point, Trump said he likes ‘people who don’t get captured. What a terrible thing to say about my friend and a genuine war hero, John McCain. So tonight I call on Donald Trump to be a man of his word – and release Chris Christie right now.”—Joe Biden

15. “Say what you will about Trump, he is not stupid. He is a smart man with a deep understanding of what stupid people want.”―Andy Borowitz

16. “Donald Trump showed his birth certificate to reporters. Who cares about his birth certificate? I want to know if that thing on his head has had its vaccinations.”―Craig Ferguson

17. “Trump says— he says he's gonna run for president in 2012. But if his plan for America is to fire everyone, he's about two years too late.”–Seth McFarlane

18. “Americans have been mishearing The Donald: what he actually said is that he will make America grate again, after which many of them will migrate again.”―Michael R. Burch


READ MORE

Hawaii humor? Pups in Love?

BOOM is BACK

(this was an anniversary card I gave the hubby)

we are VERY poetic...

plans plans plans

Plans?
I have plans.
I'm saving plastic Wonder Bread bags.
I even dreamt how I'm going to braid them.
Maybe I'm nuts. Maybe not.
But hey, the next four years are unknown,
and instead of screaming at the TV (again) (and driving my hubs to drink)
or trusting people who say all will be OK,
even better than we expect,
that the orange clown will give us what we want,
the truth,
the hidden shit, mind-blowing evidence, ending all conspiracy theories,
then I'm waiting.
I'm waiting to hear something smart come out of his mouth.



A preview of my new chapbook MENTAL MIDGETS: Am I supposed to be doing this?, using by penname Laramie Harlow.

Primary Source - Poet Jason Schneiderman

CLICK: Today's Book of Poetry: Primary Source - Jason Schneiderman (Red Hen Pr...: 

To Please and Instruct

       The purpose of art is to please and instruct

       -- Horace, Arts Poetica

The moral of this poem is fuck you.

The moral of this poem is I'm drunk.

The moral of this poem is I'm too drunk to be held responsible for what I'm

saying to you right now.

The moral of this poem is you're fat.

The moral of this poem is if you come after me, I will have your Hotmail

account turned off, true story.

The moral of this poem is herpes.

The moral of this poem is the Pope's a liar.

The moral of this poem is I'm sorry I threw up through my nose on you.

The moral of this poem is getting through customs without a passport.

The moral of this poem is gestalt therapy.

The moral of this poem is terrorists.

The moral of this poem is you like Tarantino movies because you're stupid

and I like Tarantino movies because I'm smart.

The moral of this poem is cats that look like Hitler.

The moral of this poem is reality television.

The moral of this poem is don't have sex with your siblings, parents, or

anyone under eighteen, sixteen if you're in Greece, fourteen in Denmark.

The moral of this poem is meth mouth.

The moral of this poem is gun-show loophole.

The moral of this poem is Gawker.

The moral of this poem is two state solution.

The moral of this poem is too much rage.

The moral of this poem is rehab sucks.

The moral of this poem is your wife being fingered in the bathroom at a 

party by this guy you invited because you thought he was cool and look

where that got you. 

The moral of this poem is rules change.

The moral of this poem is George Washington filling his dentures with

teeth pulled from his slaves.

The moral of this poem is kill me.

The moral of this poem is hip surgery.

The moral of this poem is drone strike wedding massacre.

The moral of this poem is thong.

The moral of this poem is shut up.

The moral of this poem is make me.

Show Time at the Ministry of Lost Causes: Poet Cheryl Dumesnil at Radar Reading Series

right NOW, right?

“Remember then: there is only one time that is important—Now! It is the most important time because it is the only time when we have any power.”

This quote is from Leo Tolstoy’s What Men Live By, and Other Tales, and it serves as a fitting prompt for us all to direct our attention to what is actually happening in our lives in this moment.
KEEP READING

MOTION POEMS

The idea of basing a video on a poem may one day seem as natural and inevitable as the setting of poems to music used to be.

 

David Lehman

editor, Best American Poetry

 

Wednesday's Word: twenty-sixteen

What Do You Know?

1. All together, Americans eat about ____________ Big Macs every year.

2. Since 720 B.C.E., when the first recorded eclipse was observed, Earth’s rotation has gotten about ____________ slower.

3. When you’re in a deep sleep, your neurons fire one to four times per second—compared to ____________ times per second when you’re concentrating on a memory.

What Do You Know?

4. ____________ have always been canvases for political commentary and projection, regardless if their manufacturers want them to be.  

Answers: 550 million, six hours, 30 to 90, Sneakers

Wednesday Word: twenty-sixteen  (so friggin' glad to see you go)

The silence is so loud

No matter what I tell you

You still don’t want to see

Would you rather I lie to you

Than change what you believe

What a funny way to listen

With your head against a cloud

You refuse to answer me

The silence is so loud

© 2004    I published this in Sleeps with Knives www.bluehandbooks.org

I took this photo in Puerto Rico years back

Cynthia Jobin, rest in peace

NORTH, EARLY DECEMBER

Posted on November 29, 2016 by Cynthia Jobin

Standard

Let me down easy
the way hints of winter
fall exquisitely today
scattering icy lacy flowers
from a cloud bouquet
flutter, waver just a bit
unhurried and unworried
to get on with it.
A deeper cold will come
but stay its harder hand
let play a little longer
the november grey indefinites
let me down easy.
The longest night is still ahead
weighs heavy in the apprehension
threatening dismay
let me go haltingly into its
frozen moonlit desolation
tempered by the touch of
something of its opposite
knowing I am anyway
to be let down, I pray
let me down easy.

(She passed Dec. 13, 2016)

Wham! - Last Christmas

Rest In Peace George

Aretha Franklin & George Michael - I Knew You Were Waiting (For Me) [Off...

where do you begin...

‘Where do you begin telling someone their world is not the only one?’
— Lee Maracle, Ravensong.

‘The teacher can try to rearrange desires noncoercively… through an attempt to develop in the student a habit of literary reading, even just ‘reading,’ suspending oneself into the text of the other – for which the first condition and effect is a suspension of the conviction that I am necessarily better, I am necessarily the end product for which history happened.’
— Gayatri Chakravorty Spivak, ‘Righting Wrongs.’

Fernando Pessoa & Co.: Selected Poems

Fernando Pessoa, the most famous Portuguese poet, claimed to do nothing but “pretend and posture.” We are told in the Introduction that three of Pessoa’s primary characters are distinguished by how they “feel:” one just “feels;” another adjusts his feelings to reality; a third modifies his feelings "according to classical measures and rules." He created and abandoned styles, even being credited with a new type of symbolism called “Paulismo.” Pessoa gave each of his alternate egos physical descriptions, mannerisms and had them interact, converse, and write to each other, like a literary doll house. So in effect, his poems were written by “different people;" thus the “and company” of the book’s title.

So let’s see some snippets of his (their?) stuff:

To be a poet is not my ambition,
It’s my way of being alone

But Spring isn’t even a thing:
It’s a manner of speaking.

It is night. It’s very dark. In a house far away
A light is shining in the window.
I see it and feel human from head to toe.

The Universe is not an idea of mine;
My idea of the Universe is an idea of mine.
Night doesn’t fall before my eyes;
My idea of night falls before my eyes.

Where there are roses we plant doubt.
Most of the meaning we glean is our own,
And forever not knowing, we ponder.

Believe me, there’s no metaphysics on earth like chocolates,
And all religions put together teach no more than the candy shop.

I’m beginning to know myself. I don’t exist.
I’m the gap between what I’d like to be and what others have made me,
Or half of this gap, since there’s also life…

And as for the mother who rocks a dead child in her arms---
We all rock a dead child in our arms.

I’m being watched, but where from?
Which things that can’t see are looking at me?
Who’s in everything, peering?

From the mountain comes a song
Saying that however much
The soul may come to have,
It will always be unhappy.

Goodreads review by Jim Fonseca

merry merry

Thanks to artist Anthony Antonellis for giving us a taste of the holiday spirit.

hope you got good stuff

this dog got lots of good snow for the holidaze... BOOM

Liam Neeson Auditions For Mall Santa Claus

we're watching

Syfy Channel has this: 12 Disasters of Christmas... here

and maybe this:

The X-Files: "How the Ghosts Stole Christmas"

Six seasons into its run, The X-Files still had plenty of tricks up its sleeve, including this last of a few holiday episodes, which was highly-promoted by Fox at the time it aired. Lily Tomlin and Ed Asner guest starred as two ghosts in a haunted house being investigated by Mulder and Scully. The ghosts were in love and took part in a murder-suicide pact so they would never have to be apart, and as Mulder learned, they haunted a house every Christmas Eve. However, their intentions are not as good as they might sound. This was definitely one of the more memorable one-off X-Files episodes, with tremendous performances by Asner and Tomlin.

barack and joe

How Much Money is There on Earth?

This is a big boom for me...

all day

I can't get enough of these

happy christmas

SEE MORE SANTAS (or Anta-Says) (in pig latin)  here

Today's Book of Poetry: A Sparrow Came Down Resplendent

CLICK: Today's Book of Poetry: A Sparrow Came Down Resplendent - Stuart Ross

Snow falls in the Sahara for the first time in 37 YEARS

this explains...

why this blog BOOM will be about ART every single month.. no matter what... art saves lives....

In this series of interviews with more than 100 American workers, we asked you to tell us about your work: the pivotal moments in your career, the times you’ve succeeded or struggled to make it, what your job has taught you about how to treat people, and more. 

 This reader works in “a tiny, quirky hometown art gallery:

You’d be surprised at how many tears I see every day. I have a woman who comes in weekly to visit a painting of weathered old lady hands resting on a quilt. She tears up as she tells me every time how much it reminds her of her grandmother, and how much she misses her. Or on another day, I have a woman who has come in looking for butterfly prints as a memorial for her daughter, who loved them. We sit together as she tells stories and cries, and then we walk the whole store together to find her the best memorial that we can. But on the best days, I get to see the happy tears when I can tell an artist that someone loved the work that they did so much that they bought it, or the quiet joy of a person of any age, maybe one who hasn’t been able to fit in anywhere else, who has found something that they identify with. Art may not save lives, but it saves hearts, and it’s a message that I will carry with me from the moment I took that job until the day I die.

Appreciation Friday: Artist Robert De Niro Senior

ROBERT DE NIRO, SR (left) STUDIED WITH HANS HOFMANN, 1939-1942.

ROBERT DE NIRO, SR. was part of the celebrated New York School of post-war American artists.  His work blended abstract and expressionist styles of painting with traditional representational subject matter, bridging the divide between European Modernism and Abstract Expressionism.

Throughout his career Robert De Niro Sr. remained well known and respected within the art world throughout his career. In the 1970s De Niro became professor, teaching at several art schools including the Copper Union, the New School for Social Research, the School of Visual Arts, and East Michigan State College.  He continued to exhibit in galleries throughout the United States until his death in 1993. Over the course of his nearly fifty year career, De Niro continued to paint mesmerizing landscapes, interiors and figures with distinctly modern abstract shapes of brilliant color and invigorating brush strokes.

Robert De Niro Sr died in 1993.

HIS ESTATE website

AT&T commercial

Poets West

I adore J Glenn Evans and his group Poets West... They have a channel you can check out HERE

humor me

ho ho ho

#CoveroftheWeek "Ho ho holy sh#t!" by @TimeOutNewYork (USA) pic.twitter.com/Gkbo31OQev

— ClassicFrontPages (@CFPages) November 28, 2016

the end is nearing

source

November 11, 2016 

And the mothers know not
what to do
Yet we implore
them to listen
to the childless women
who would take their daughter in
who would guide their son
to better lives
than are lost now
to bigotry and hate
when human life should
Celebrate
the final closing hours
of an underdog
in the universe
Playing catch-up with our Galileoes and our Ensteins
Picassos and Hemingways
Ray Bradburys & Luke Skywalkers
In the remains
The human race an anomaly
self-destructive apathy
an anti-thesis of meaning
Bound by laws
adhered as temporal
mendicants reliant
on alms of others
A sentient being
no doubt
could possess a thirst
for power
The most elusive and hollow
of the three
cast about
in the
Holy Trinity
in the beauty of forgiveness

katherinewalker

Happy Birthday to J. Glenn Evans, Poet, Novelist and Political Activist

CHRISTMAS TIME

 

That time that comes

and so quickly goes

Christmastime that reminds

me of so long ago

 

Mother and father

sisters and brothers

all huddled around

our separate piles

with smiles

 

Oh such joy

that brief glimpse

peeked through

the curtain of time

when we were young

and they were old

Now we are old

and they are gone

 

J. Glenn Evans

 

Copyleft © 1992

J. Glenn Evans, Poet, Novelist and Political Activist

Books by J. Glenn Evans

www.poetswest.com/books.htm

Poetswest Website

http://www.poetswest.com/

Poetswest Youtube

http://www.youtube.com/poetswest1

PoetsWest Radio Programs

http://www.poetswest.com/radio_programs.htm

 

 

J Glenn is one of my favorite people... and he's a Cherokee elder too!

chuckles (or uckles-chay)

I'm doing my best to re-learn pig-latin too.... BOOM

The Shortest Day - Sol Invictus

Sunlight on Earth, on the day of the winter solstice. The north polar region of Earth is in 24-hour darkness, while the south polar region is in 24-hour daylight. Gif via Wikimedia Commons.

i hurt myself laughing

I'm really baking today... then this shit happens... BOOM  (oom-bay in pig latin)

Short Film: Find my Phone - Subtitled

After my phone got stolen, I quickly realized just how much of my personal information and data the thief had instantly obtained. So, I let another phone get stolen. This time my phone was pre-programmed with spyware so I could keep tabs on the thief in order to get to know him. However, to what extent is it possible to truly get to know someone by going through the content of their phone?

In the Netherlands, 300 police reports a week are filed for smartphone-theft. Besides losing your expensive device, a stranger has access to all of your photos, videos, e-mails, messages and contacts.

Yet, what kind of person steals a phone? And where do stolen phones eventually end up?

The short documentary ‘Find My Phone’ follows a stolen phone’s second life by means of using spyware.

Although you’ll meet the person behind the theft up close and personal, the question remains: how well can you actually get to know someone when you base yourself on the information retrieved from their phone?



Do you want the full story behind the film? You can contact me in order to answer all of your questions by means of an interview (I’m proficient in Dutch and English), or to invite me to a film festival.

contact@anthonyvdmeer.nl
anthonyvdmeer.nl
#FMP
Dutch version can be found here: https://vimeo.com/191763814

those rascals!

Cute, funny illustrations show what Christmas is like when you have pets https://t.co/alN2sv9yW4 pic.twitter.com/cKotr015md

— TAXI (@designtaxi) December 20, 2016

Paterson

Rolling Stone says:

So great to have Jim Jarmusch back in classic form with this minimalist mesmerizer about a New Jersey bus driver and poet named Paterson who lives in Paterson. Too twee? No worries. He's played by Adam Driver, a sublime actor who stays alert to every nuance as Jarmusch follows the film's hero, hanging out with his Iranian wife (rocker Golshifteh Farahani) and turning his daily encounters into verse that celebrates the mysteries of the everyday. That's Jarmusch in a nutshell – and a pure pleasure to watch.

The Pogues & Kirsty McColl Fairytale Of New York

Today's Book of Poetry: Tiller North

CLICK: Today's Book of Poetry: Tiller North - Rosa Lane (Sixteen Rivers Press)...:

Today's book of poetry: Tiller North.   Rosa Lane.  Sixteen Rivers Press.  San Francisco, California.  2016. 

ROSA LANE is a native of coastal Maine, with familial and ancestral roots steeped in lobster fishing. She earned her MFA from Sarah Lawrence College and is the author of the poetry chapbook Roots and Reckonings (Granite Press, East, 1980). Her work has appeared in numerous journals, including The Briar Cliff Review, Crab Orchard Review, New South, and Ploughshares. After earning her second master’s and a Ph.D. in sustainable architecture from UC Berkeley, Lane works as an architect and divides her time between coastal Maine and the San Francisco Bay Area, where she lives with her partner.

just in case

I gotta tell you - this is a real concern - knuckleheads are everywhere! BOOM!

 

bad bad bad

My Card

Marissa

Check this cool chick out!
First links to her poems/lyrics...

• I Wore Red To Target
• The Plight of Snowball: A Dog Lost In A Cat’s Body

• Who the hell is Marissa Bergen?

  Marissa Bergen, Rock and Roll Supermom. Los Angeles!
  

  Driving With My Blinker On Again

    by Marissa Bergen
  
  Driving in my car in the middle of the day
  Hoping that I’m able to remember my way
  I start and stop can’t recall is it left or right
  So I pull the switch and there goes on my signal light
  
  Chorus:
  I’m driving with my blinker on again
  You never know how this will end
  Will I make a right or left or even turn you’ll never guess
  I’m driving with my blinker on again
  Well at one point I’m sure I did intend to turn
  Now you’re asking me where my driving I did learn
  Well I’m pretty sure it was the school for the crazy
  Directionally challenged and curmudgeonly old ladies
  
  Chorus
  
  Bridge:
  You were getting pretty hopeful down on Ave B
  But now that we’re on M you’ve nearly given up on me
  That light is winking at you and it’s driving you insane
  You’d try to get around me too bad it’s a single lane
  Well it’s finally time to lose me at any cost
  Might go mile out or you could end up getting lost
  Try to turn right but suddenly out of the blue
  I decide to make that right, right in front of you
  
  
   

we saw this delicious movie

This movie has me thinking food every minute... BOOM!

The Goose Who Thinks He is a Sandhill Crane

those are dogs?

there are no words... just a sigh... inspired too?

exactly... and writing fiction I might add... BOOM ♀

 

Poet Rafeef Ziadah

she sings bombs called words - 'We teach life, sir', London, 12.11.11

Barbie humor

get that education, girls! BOOM!

Somebody That I Used to Know - Walk off the Earth

I Could Be a Boxer

I Could Be a Boxer

I have a history
of growing back wisdom
teeth, parting my gums
like persimmon fruit
and making it look easy.
Like bright dead things
look easy or carving
S.O.S. in fresh cement,
the branch moving
like arms or legs.
But I know my body—
it’s a stove that learned
early how to bake
a life or take one.
Like mending a crow’s
wing when I was eight,
its feathers thick
enough to fill an urn.
And birthing that tooth?
was like punching out
a bruised rib but
I took it like God
was in my throat
telling me not to cede.

*   *   *

Cynthia Manick is the author of Blue Hallelujahs (Black Lawrence Press, 2016). A Pushcart Prize–nominated poet with a MFA in Creative Writing from the New School, she has received fellowships from Cave Canem, Hedgebrook, Poets House, and the Vermont Studio Center. Manick’s work has appeared in American Review, Bone Bouquet, Callaloo, Kweli Journal, Muzzle Magazine, Pedestal Magazine, Tidal Basin, Wall Street Journal, and elsewhere. She currently resides in Brooklyn, New York. A LINK TO HER NEWSLETTER

Tending

The title alone has me all excited... I have not read all this poetry collection, not yet, but plan to SOON... BOOM

Ways of Speaking

and she's one of the best blogger/writers/poets! GO LOOK

What Does Wisdom Look Like? 👌

What Does Wisdom Look Like??👌

The end result became known as “The Wisdom Matrix,” a graphic design seen everywhere from the Rubin Museum’s website to the subway platforms of New York. It’s also the namesake of the 2016 fall series.

READ 

 

Bills (Official Video)

this is kinda poetic, don't you think? BOOM to bills...

What if?

I’ve long been interested in how people, particularly those in the arts (my people!), function under tyranny. How much do we compromise, and how much do we fight back? Sure, we all like to imagine ourselves acting courageously in a perilous situation, but would we really? What if our livelihoods were at stake — or our lives?

How do artists function under tyranny?

READ THIS


A group of Chinese artists were detained by police in Chengdu for protesting against air pollution. In Xi’an in northwest China, university students spent ten hours applying face masks to over 800 stone lions.