In 2011, Trump volunteered to be roasted on Comedy Central. He's taken his fair share of shots at White House correspondents dinners. But there's no doubt that when it comes to jokes and insults, the billionaire businessman can give as good as he gets.
In that spirit, here are 18 of 120 of the best Donald Trump jokes and insults out there. (*Profanity is retained in the interest of comedy.)
1. “It’s like an Internet comment troll ran for president.”—Jon Stewart
2. “The good news is, President Obama was born in America. The bad news is, so was Donald Trump.” —Jay Leno
3. “Donald Trump is the kind of person who goes to the Super Bowl and thinks the people in the huddle are talking about him."―Eric Schneiderman
4. “Donald Trump announces this morning that he will run for president. His hair will announce on Friday.”—Albert Brooks
5. “'Yeah! OK! That sounds good!' So now the obvious question is, will he ever not win? Yes, Trump is unstoppable. He's like Godzilla with less foreign policy experience." –Stephen Colbert
6. “Donald has attacked every person of color – except John Boehner.”—Joe Biden
7. “Donald Trump has come out in favor of shutting down Planned Parenthood. However, experts say, if he really wants Planned Parenthood to go under he should turn it into a Trump property.”–Conan O"Brien
8. “Donald Trump may be running for president. He said he's sick and tired of the rest of the world laughing at the United States. Well, President Trump will certainly put an end to that!”―David Letterman
9. “Maybe he should ease into this ... by running for a lower office first, like President of the Hair Club for Men.”―Jimmy Kimmel
10. “Donald Trump is the weak man's vision of a strong man.”—Charles Cooke
11. “This guy has an ego. When Trump bangs a supermodel, he closes his eyes and imagines he's jerking off.”–Seth McFarlane
12. “Here's the thing about Donald Trump: he never apologizes; he's never wrong no matter what crazy thing he says. He's the white Kanye.”―Bill Maher
13. “He was even forced into the ultimate act of degradation— starring in his own reality show. And soon the top-rated TV show in the nation starred a total asshole torturing people who were stupid enough to work with him.”–Seth McFarlane
14. “But folks, on a serious point, Trump said he likes ‘people who don’t get captured. What a terrible thing to say about my friend and a genuine war hero, John McCain. So tonight I call on Donald Trump to be a man of his word – and release Chris Christie right now.”—Joe Biden
15. “Say what you will about Trump, he is not stupid. He is a smart man with a deep understanding of what stupid people want.”―Andy Borowitz
16. “Donald Trump showed his birth certificate to reporters. Who cares about his birth certificate? I want to know if that thing on his head has had its vaccinations.”―Craig Ferguson
17. “Trump says— he says he's gonna run for president in 2012. But if his plan for America is to fire everyone, he's about two years too late.”–Seth McFarlane
18. “Americans have been mishearing The Donald: what he actually said is that he will make America grate again, after which many of them will migrate again.”―Michael R. Burch
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