HILARIOUS?
Robert Koch Institute Pandemic Postulates:
1. Basically, you can’t leave the house for any reason, but if you have to, then you can...
2. Masks are useless, but maybe you have to wear one. It can save you - unless it is useless. But, it is mandatory as well...
3. Stores are closed, except those that remain open...
4. You should not go to hospitals unless you have to go there. You should only go there in case of emergency, provided you are not sick...
5. This virus is deadly - but not too scary, except that sometimes it leads to a global disaster...
6. Gloves won’t help, but they might help...
7. Everyone needs to stay HOME, unless it’s important to go somewhere...
8. There are no shortages of groceries in the supermarkets, but there are many things missing when you do go...
9. The virus has no effect on children, except for those it affects...
10. Animals are not affected, but there is still a cat that tested positive in Belgium...
11. You will have many symptoms when you are sick, but you can also get sick without symptoms, have symptoms without being sick, or be contagious without having symptoms... Just punt...
12. In order not to get sick, you have to eat well and exercise. Eat whatever you have on hand, unless you have no food on hand...
13. It’s better to get some fresh air. Don’t go to parks or walk anywhere. Maybe sit down to breathe...
14. You can’t go into retirement homes, but you have to take care of the elderly who live there...
15. If you are sick, you can’t go out. You can go to the pharmacy, but only if you are not well...
16. You can get restaurant food delivered to the house, but you have to have your store groceries decontaminated...
17. Every disturbing article or disturbing interview starts with "I don’t want to trigger panic, but…”
18. You can’t visit your mother or grandmother, but you can take a taxi and meet an older taxi driver...
19. You can walk with a friend, but not with your family. Especially if they live under the same roof...
20. You are safe if you maintain the appropriate social distance. But you can’t go anywhere...
21. The virus remains active on different surfaces for two hours. But not necessarily...
22. The virus lives in the air. Or no, or yes, or maybe. Especially in a closed room...
23. We would count the number of deaths, but we don’t know how many people are infected... But that’s what they will die of anyway…
24. We should stay locked up until the virus disappears. But we might get locked up after that...
25. We have no treatment. Orange man bad...
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